Yesterday was a fantastic day. Mainly because I got to stay up later than normal, but also because of this thing called a parade. Mommy and daddy did not have anyone to babysit me (which sounds rather scary; I don't every want to be sit on), so they put me in my carriage to go for a walk. Mommy had on nice white pants with a dark blue shirt that said "Crystal Fire Company Ladies Auxiliary." Daddy was in something called a fireman's dress uniform. It was dark blue with shiny buttons on it. He had on white gloves and a funny hat that had a shiny pin on the front of it. I wanted to play with the shiny buttons but daddy wouldn’t pick me up. He said he didn’t want me to spit up on him. Like I do it on purpose, silly daddy. Mommy tried to make me look like her and daddy. She put me in a white shirt with dark blue pants. We all matched. I was so proud.
We walked a few blocks and stood on the side of the road where there were others dressed like mommy and daddy. There were also these big red trucks that were exciting to look at. Daddy pushed me over to the one that he said was his and the guy inside flipped a switch and all of these lights came on! It was amazing. I sat there in my carriage in awe of all the spinning lights. Perhaps someday I can be the guy who turns the lights on. It’s the best job in the world!
Not long after that, another truck (which daddy said was the truck of the next town over) turned on its lights too! The man in that truck also made it make a loud screechy noise and blew some horns. It was scary. I started to cry so mommy came and picked me up. All of the guys dressed like daddy started yelling at the truck and it stopped. I didn't want to be put back into my carriage though, so mommy carried me.
Daddy's fire truck pulled out onto the road with lots of others. Daddy and the guys like him walked out and stood in two lines in front of it. Daddy lined up behind the flag. Mommy and I walked out in front of them with other ladies. I don’t know why we were in the road with these big trucks behind us. Mommy always says that we have to stay on the sidewalk so we don’t get run over. We all then walked down the street and people were cheering and waving. Maybe it was the people who warned all the trucks not to run us over. Some of the men that look like my great grampa stood up tall and straight with either their right hand on their chest or over their eyes. They looked like statues as we walked by. I wonder why they do that.
As we walked further down the road, I saw my grampa and he took my picture. There were lots of people waving at me and taking my picture. I wonder if all babies like me get a parade in their honor. It sure was fun being out in front of everyone. Having them looking at me and getting dressed up for me was great fun. I think I shall have a parade every year.
Soon, we reached the house where the trucks live. When we got there, there was a big tent with things called rides and games. There were lots of people eating and talking, and even people a little bigger than me running around playing. Mommy and daddy went to this table and ordered something called clams. I don't know what they are but they stink! They look like rocks that have cracked open to reveal rubber things inside. Mommy and daddy ate them all and I tried to push them away when they kissed me. Yucky smelly things!
We then went to a place that smelled like great gramma's kitchen. Mommy got something called fried dough. It looked like a stick but had white specks all over it. When mommy ate it, she didn't stink anymore. I wanted some, but she said I was too little. Next year I can have some. I guess that means I will have a parade next year! Yay!!!
I wanted to go on the rides. They looked like so much fun! Mommy said I was too small to go on them. Next year, when I get to go again, I’ll be able to walk by myself and then I can go on. I hope next year comes soon because I’ve never had a next year yet. What is a next year I wonder?
I got to play a game though. Daddy walked me over to this small tubby with ducks like at home in it. Daddy said I could grab one. He put me close to the pond and I tried to grab my favorite but it kept going around in a loop. I finally was able to get it after several tries. I wanted to put it into my mouth, but a strange man took it from me, looked at its bottom, and threw it back into the tubby. How rude! He soon came back with a balloon for me. I like balloons. I hit them and they bounce off daddy’s face.
There were other games where people were throwing sharp things at balloons. Some of the sharp things broke the balloons and they made loud “pops”. They were excited when they broke, but it scared me. I don’t think I’ll play that game, balloons are too nice.
All this fun made me very tired and mommy could see it in my eyes. She said something to daddy and he put me back into my carriage and we started to walk home.
This day was a great day. I’ve learned so much today. I know there is so much more to this world and I want to know it all, but as for now, I can’t wait for my next parade!
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Bruce, I really liked the revisions you made on this piece, especially the addition of an ending sentence on several of your paragraphs which ties the ideas together nicely. You also added more in terms of what your baby was thinking or questioning as he observed things happening around him. I thought that brought the focus back to the story being told from his perspective.
ReplyDeleteThe paragraphs you added at the end of your story gave balance as well as a direct lead to the ending paragraph. I loved the last sentence, well done!
I like Hunter's question: "What is a next year I wonder? How well that captures how children must seek to understand the language they hear being used around them in ways they do not yet fully grasp.
ReplyDeleteThere is lots of action in your piece and I am curious how you might interpret Hunter's quieter moments for us.
Bruce you did a great job with your revisions! If I were to add any constructive criticism, it would only be this, thinking back to my own fire department parade days, the trucks and the uniforms etc. looked so different 20 years ago. Perhaps a little more depth on the scenery would provide a good compare and contrast for Hunter someday down the road.
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